RELATIONSHIPS| Subsitution

(Photo cred: Ivars)

I was driving along today when I heard a golden oldie which got me humming. The words kind of set me aback. The lyrics say something like I will be your substitute whenever you need me and if she (your actual girlfriend I am assuming ) does not come back etc. I started thinking of all the times I have sat and chatted with some of my girlfriends about playing second best.



I can actually remember one particular conversation. My friend was saying she felt she was just a place holder. In other words she was telling me she felt insignificant. In another separate conversation another friend remarked that she felt as if there will always be a silent partner in their relationship. So listening to this song got me thinking yet again about my friends and other women who find themselves in competition with ghosts of girlfriends past.

I felt quite unsettled by the idea of acknowledging that one's partner is still in love with someone else and just settling for second best. I started wondering if women just found themselves in these situations and thought it's too late to turn back or they go into these situation eyes wide open? I don't know which of the above scenarios is worse? I then wondered if these women always have to live with the unnerving thought of their men going back to the love of their life.

I am quite a weak person I suppose, so the idea of being part of a love triangle does not appeal to me. I was told by one of my friends that the reason she stays with her man despite feeling insignificant, is the fact that she is hopeful. She hopes one day this man will realize how special she is and love her for that.

You see the sceptic in me then says what if this the guy is just saying you will have to do? If real life was like football, I think being a substitute is the sad guy who sits on the sideline just waiting for their chance. I want to think of the substitute as the player who has a contractual obligation to a team which has little or no regard for him. He is the insurance or the in case shit happens guy.

So in real life I would not enter into a situation which makes me someone's in case shit happens guy.I would value myself enough to be in someone's first team and not sit on the sideline and watch life pass me by. Ladies whatever the circumstance we cannot allow ourselves to play life on the bench. We are too beautiful for that.